i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
