Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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