Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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