He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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