when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
