u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
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Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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