I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
