i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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