no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.