dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.