Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.