I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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