Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
