I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
