We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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