Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
