and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You ruined the universe
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
