Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
