As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize