I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
