you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
