Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
