i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize