Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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