Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
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