Me. At least after what I've been through.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
