i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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