I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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