I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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