Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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