I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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