Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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