It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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