i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
