He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
cat food counts as protein by the way
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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