Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
