I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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