So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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