I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
