Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize