I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize