Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
