my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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