The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
