Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
