You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
