Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
