It's Friday. Sex?
Do vagina's smell?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
