Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
