well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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