is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME