I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.