Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10