i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?