4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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