Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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