i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I had to cum in my sink.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
