i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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