hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
