Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
