Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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