she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize