Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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