You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My penis needs a shock collar
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
